Friday, March 4, 2011
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Thursday, June 3, 2010
Saturday, May 22, 2010
The World Of Weddings, Then And Now
These days’ weddings seem to have decreased in numbers, or have become less significant in many people’s lives, especially amongst women. More women are becoming career minded, taking on board the world of work rather than settling down to raise a family. This is almost true for men as women have more rights and freedom over their lives that it has become less common (particularly in the Western countries) for women to give up all they own to the men – a practise specific to the Victorian ages. Perceptions of weddings have changed and are no longer seen as a mandatory part of life.
Wedding ceremonies, however much they have decreased, are far more joyous than what they were in the past, with wedding gifts becoming more expensive and the planning and preparation being evermore stressful. Some follow the tradition of having the wedding paid for by the parents, these days marriages are divided between the two couple. Arranged marriages, though slowly decreasing in Western countries, based on religious convictions have themselves become subject of much careful thought and planning (having grown in size).
History
Up until the Middle Ages, weddings were considered a family or political affair, rather than a union between two people in love. They were also seen as a way to survive from predators and other outside members of the tribes – people believed there was safety in numbers. It was also common for grooms to kidnap their bride, if the families were against the matrimony, in this instance the groomsman would act as a small army to fight off the mob. Wedding parties were also small and not a very joyous occasion. However, wedding gifts have been a tradition for many years and is something that is still prevalent in ceremonies today.
Wedding gifts were given to symbolise the unity of the married couple and to help set up their new household for the newlyweds. During the Elizabethan ages, the family gave guests gifts, this was a practise derived from France known as wedding favours. Traditionally the wedding favours known in France as bonbonniere, contained sugared sweets (usually almonds) at a time when sugar was expensive. These were intricately wrapped in a small crystal, gold or porcelain box encrusted with precious gems, and were commonly presented by rich or wealthy families, as a way of thanking their guests for sharing the matrimonial union.
Wedding parties became more joyous during the Victorian ages, when weddings were beginning to change. Arranged marriages were beginning to decrease in numbers (in the UK especially) and more people were beginning to plan their weddings in advance. Wedding invitations were once announced via a town crier; the more literate and educated few in the 15th century were able to write their own invitations or arrange for monks to produce intricately designed invitations using calligraphy. The invitations often carried a coat of arms or family crest, sometimes-sealed using wax.
These days’ weddings have become more than just a family arrangement and political traditions, it is more common for the bride and grooms to come together and plan their weddings. Many Western weddings involve music, dancing and a very traditional pub drinking towards the end of the night. The traditions of kidnapping your wife are echoed in the form of stag do’s and hen parties, turning these historical events into fun party games
Wedding ceremonies, however much they have decreased, are far more joyous than what they were in the past, with wedding gifts becoming more expensive and the planning and preparation being evermore stressful. Some follow the tradition of having the wedding paid for by the parents, these days marriages are divided between the two couple. Arranged marriages, though slowly decreasing in Western countries, based on religious convictions have themselves become subject of much careful thought and planning (having grown in size).
History
Up until the Middle Ages, weddings were considered a family or political affair, rather than a union between two people in love. They were also seen as a way to survive from predators and other outside members of the tribes – people believed there was safety in numbers. It was also common for grooms to kidnap their bride, if the families were against the matrimony, in this instance the groomsman would act as a small army to fight off the mob. Wedding parties were also small and not a very joyous occasion. However, wedding gifts have been a tradition for many years and is something that is still prevalent in ceremonies today.
Wedding gifts were given to symbolise the unity of the married couple and to help set up their new household for the newlyweds. During the Elizabethan ages, the family gave guests gifts, this was a practise derived from France known as wedding favours. Traditionally the wedding favours known in France as bonbonniere, contained sugared sweets (usually almonds) at a time when sugar was expensive. These were intricately wrapped in a small crystal, gold or porcelain box encrusted with precious gems, and were commonly presented by rich or wealthy families, as a way of thanking their guests for sharing the matrimonial union.
Wedding parties became more joyous during the Victorian ages, when weddings were beginning to change. Arranged marriages were beginning to decrease in numbers (in the UK especially) and more people were beginning to plan their weddings in advance. Wedding invitations were once announced via a town crier; the more literate and educated few in the 15th century were able to write their own invitations or arrange for monks to produce intricately designed invitations using calligraphy. The invitations often carried a coat of arms or family crest, sometimes-sealed using wax.
These days’ weddings have become more than just a family arrangement and political traditions, it is more common for the bride and grooms to come together and plan their weddings. Many Western weddings involve music, dancing and a very traditional pub drinking towards the end of the night. The traditions of kidnapping your wife are echoed in the form of stag do’s and hen parties, turning these historical events into fun party games
The World Of Weddings, Then And Now
These days’ weddings seem to have decreased in numbers, or have become less significant in many people’s lives, especially amongst women. More women are becoming career minded, taking on board the world of work rather than settling down to raise a family. This is almost true for men as women have more rights and freedom over their lives that it has become less common (particularly in the Western countries) for women to give up all they own to the men – a practise specific to the Victorian ages. Perceptions of weddings have changed and are no longer seen as a mandatory part of life.
Wedding ceremonies, however much they have decreased, are far more joyous than what they were in the past, with wedding gifts becoming more expensive and the planning and preparation being evermore stressful. Some follow the tradition of having the wedding paid for by the parents, these days marriages are divided between the two couple. Arranged marriages, though slowly decreasing in Western countries, based on religious convictions have themselves become subject of much careful thought and planning (having grown in size).
History
Up until the Middle Ages, weddings were considered a family or political affair, rather than a union between two people in love. They were also seen as a way to survive from predators and other outside members of the tribes – people believed there was safety in numbers. It was also common for grooms to kidnap their bride, if the families were against the matrimony, in this instance the groomsman would act as a small army to fight off the mob. Wedding parties were also small and not a very joyous occasion. However, wedding gifts have been a tradition for many years and is something that is still prevalent in ceremonies today.
Wedding gifts were given to symbolise the unity of the married couple and to help set up their new household for the newlyweds. During the Elizabethan ages, the family gave guests gifts, this was a practise derived from France known as wedding favours. Traditionally the wedding favours known in France as bonbonniere, contained sugared sweets (usually almonds) at a time when sugar was expensive. These were intricately wrapped in a small crystal, gold or porcelain box encrusted with precious gems, and were commonly presented by rich or wealthy families, as a way of thanking their guests for sharing the matrimonial union.
Wedding parties became more joyous during the Victorian ages, when weddings were beginning to change. Arranged marriages were beginning to decrease in numbers (in the UK especially) and more people were beginning to plan their weddings in advance. Wedding invitations were once announced via a town crier; the more literate and educated few in the 15th century were able to write their own invitations or arrange for monks to produce intricately designed invitations using calligraphy. The invitations often carried a coat of arms or family crest, sometimes-sealed using wax.
These days’ weddings have become more than just a family arrangement and political traditions, it is more common for the bride and grooms to come together and plan their weddings. Many Western weddings involve music, dancing and a very traditional pub drinking towards the end of the night. The traditions of kidnapping your wife are echoed in the form of stag do’s and hen parties, turning these historical events into fun party games
Wedding ceremonies, however much they have decreased, are far more joyous than what they were in the past, with wedding gifts becoming more expensive and the planning and preparation being evermore stressful. Some follow the tradition of having the wedding paid for by the parents, these days marriages are divided between the two couple. Arranged marriages, though slowly decreasing in Western countries, based on religious convictions have themselves become subject of much careful thought and planning (having grown in size).
History
Up until the Middle Ages, weddings were considered a family or political affair, rather than a union between two people in love. They were also seen as a way to survive from predators and other outside members of the tribes – people believed there was safety in numbers. It was also common for grooms to kidnap their bride, if the families were against the matrimony, in this instance the groomsman would act as a small army to fight off the mob. Wedding parties were also small and not a very joyous occasion. However, wedding gifts have been a tradition for many years and is something that is still prevalent in ceremonies today.
Wedding gifts were given to symbolise the unity of the married couple and to help set up their new household for the newlyweds. During the Elizabethan ages, the family gave guests gifts, this was a practise derived from France known as wedding favours. Traditionally the wedding favours known in France as bonbonniere, contained sugared sweets (usually almonds) at a time when sugar was expensive. These were intricately wrapped in a small crystal, gold or porcelain box encrusted with precious gems, and were commonly presented by rich or wealthy families, as a way of thanking their guests for sharing the matrimonial union.
Wedding parties became more joyous during the Victorian ages, when weddings were beginning to change. Arranged marriages were beginning to decrease in numbers (in the UK especially) and more people were beginning to plan their weddings in advance. Wedding invitations were once announced via a town crier; the more literate and educated few in the 15th century were able to write their own invitations or arrange for monks to produce intricately designed invitations using calligraphy. The invitations often carried a coat of arms or family crest, sometimes-sealed using wax.
These days’ weddings have become more than just a family arrangement and political traditions, it is more common for the bride and grooms to come together and plan their weddings. Many Western weddings involve music, dancing and a very traditional pub drinking towards the end of the night. The traditions of kidnapping your wife are echoed in the form of stag do’s and hen parties, turning these historical events into fun party games
Inter- Caste Marriages In India
Marriages in India, has always been the biggest concern for the Indian families. Lot of importance is given to the sir name carried by the bride or the groom. In fact, the respect and dignity of a person is attached to his sir name, as in who were his ancestors and to which family name he belongs. The caste, creed and culture are the three most important elements, which are kept on the high priority list. The bride and the groom surely have to match each others religions, community, language, culture and region. Without matching each others religious and richness status, the bride and the groom are strictly not allowed to tie marriage knots with each other.
Marriage between two religions or often referred as inter- caste marriage and are almost prohibited in the country. People belonging to different religions or cultures are not allowed to get married, because doing such means violating the religious acts and terms. Marriage is the most sacred bond, which a girl and a boy bonds with each other, for a time period, which is life- long. The bride and the groom are always believed to have same religion or culture because it helps them in having a smooth movement in their journey of marriage, in terms of understanding and supporting each other in the religious acts.
In the early days of the Indian marriages, there were hardly any marriages known as inter- caste marriages, but with the advancements in time, and even government coming up with new laws to support the citizens will and their right to marry with the person they wish. There have been special acts made, supporting the laws of inter- caste marriages and which has somehow proved as an inspiration for the Indian bride and groom to marry according to their choice and with the person they want to. The modern society, today, has witnessed a number of inter- caste marriages, or marriages between bride and groom from different religions. This is because of the changing times and the change in the approach and the thought process, which has enabled the youth of the country, to execute their thoughts and ideas freely.
Inter- caste marriages in India are mostly the result of love marriages, wherein the decision of marriage is purely taken by the bride and the groom, based on the understanding and the comfort they share. Love marriages in India have been seen growing to a larger extent in the last few years, due to the acceptance of this concept in the Indian society and with the Indians, widening their arena of thoughts and implementation of these ideologies. Inter- caste marriage, also referred as love marriage, surely leads to a better married life shared between the bride and the groom after their marriage, because they understand each other well and already have built up that comfort zone, in which, they both together can have a prosperous and a healthy married life.
The only problem stated by the elders at the time of inter- caste marriages, is that, in case of the Indian marriages, it is the bride, who has to go to the grooms house after marriage and has to follow all the rituals and cultures in accordance to the norms set in the grooms family. But, in case of inter- caste marriages, the bride, who comes from different religious background, finds it difficult to settle herself in the new religious environments and mould her beliefs and activities according to a different religion, which if done in some other way, can sometimes, effect her image in the family. Therefore, precautions should be taken by the bride, in case of inter- caste marriages, where she needs to be very careful in practising the religious chores with the family.
Though, most of the families in India, have started accepting their childrens conducting inter- caste marriages, but there still a huge number of people are left in the country who need to understand that there is nothing more important than the happiness of their children and they need to mould their views in accordance to the changing times and accept their childrens choices for the sake of their happy married life.
Few useful links:
http://www.doshiza.com/
Marriage between two religions or often referred as inter- caste marriage and are almost prohibited in the country. People belonging to different religions or cultures are not allowed to get married, because doing such means violating the religious acts and terms. Marriage is the most sacred bond, which a girl and a boy bonds with each other, for a time period, which is life- long. The bride and the groom are always believed to have same religion or culture because it helps them in having a smooth movement in their journey of marriage, in terms of understanding and supporting each other in the religious acts.
In the early days of the Indian marriages, there were hardly any marriages known as inter- caste marriages, but with the advancements in time, and even government coming up with new laws to support the citizens will and their right to marry with the person they wish. There have been special acts made, supporting the laws of inter- caste marriages and which has somehow proved as an inspiration for the Indian bride and groom to marry according to their choice and with the person they want to. The modern society, today, has witnessed a number of inter- caste marriages, or marriages between bride and groom from different religions. This is because of the changing times and the change in the approach and the thought process, which has enabled the youth of the country, to execute their thoughts and ideas freely.
Inter- caste marriages in India are mostly the result of love marriages, wherein the decision of marriage is purely taken by the bride and the groom, based on the understanding and the comfort they share. Love marriages in India have been seen growing to a larger extent in the last few years, due to the acceptance of this concept in the Indian society and with the Indians, widening their arena of thoughts and implementation of these ideologies. Inter- caste marriage, also referred as love marriage, surely leads to a better married life shared between the bride and the groom after their marriage, because they understand each other well and already have built up that comfort zone, in which, they both together can have a prosperous and a healthy married life.
The only problem stated by the elders at the time of inter- caste marriages, is that, in case of the Indian marriages, it is the bride, who has to go to the grooms house after marriage and has to follow all the rituals and cultures in accordance to the norms set in the grooms family. But, in case of inter- caste marriages, the bride, who comes from different religious background, finds it difficult to settle herself in the new religious environments and mould her beliefs and activities according to a different religion, which if done in some other way, can sometimes, effect her image in the family. Therefore, precautions should be taken by the bride, in case of inter- caste marriages, where she needs to be very careful in practising the religious chores with the family.
Though, most of the families in India, have started accepting their childrens conducting inter- caste marriages, but there still a huge number of people are left in the country who need to understand that there is nothing more important than the happiness of their children and they need to mould their views in accordance to the changing times and accept their childrens choices for the sake of their happy married life.
Few useful links:
http://www.doshiza.com/
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Tips For A Happy And Successful Marriage
Tips For A Happy And Successful Marriage
The young and excited bride-and-groom-to-be; ecstatic about the upcoming wedding and marriage and the joy that it will bring. Three to six months later, reality has set in and both spouses realize that marriage is no easy task, but one that takes a great deal of effort and patience. The following are tips for both wives and husbands, to help make the task a little less daunting, and to increase the many rewards that are possible in such a marvelous and complex relationship.
Enter the Marriage with the Right Intention and Renew this Often
Both spouses should enter the marriage with the pure intention of pleasing Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, in order to receive His grace and blessings. The marriage itself then becomes an act of worship and one for which both spouses will be rewarded.
Allah will be pleased with them and this will be the most critical element in ensuring peace, stability and happiness throughout the marital life. It is also important to realize that when an act of worship is continued over a long period of time, it becomes necessary to renew one's intention often to remain on the correct path and to obtain the most benefit.
Remember that Your Spouse is also Your Brother or Sister in Islam
Too often Muslims treat other people outside the home with kindness and sincerity, but then behave in a very different manner when it comes to their own spouses. Muslims should always remember that one's spouse is also another brother or sister in Islam and that the rights and duties that apply to the general brotherhood (sisterhood) of Islam, should also form the basis of the marital relationship. Obviously, a spouse has rights beyond these, but there should be a clear understanding of the rights of brotherhood (sisterhood) and adherence to these principles.
Do Not Hold Unrealistic Expectations
Before marriage, people often have unrealistic ideas about their spouse-to-be, expecting perfection in all aspects. This rarely, if ever, plays out in reality and can lead to unnecessary problems and concerns. We should recall that Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, created humans as imperfect beings, which means that many mistakes will be made throughout a lifetime. By turning the table and expecting imperfection, we will be pleasantly surprised and pleased when our spouse is much more than we ever hoped for. This, in turn, will lead to contentment within the marriage.
Emphasize the Best in Your Spouse
Since no one is endowed with all of the best qualities, emphasis should be placed on the positive qualities that a spouse possesses. Encouragement, praise, and gratitude should be expressed on a regular basis, which will strengthen these qualities and be beneficial in developing others. An attempt should be made to overlook or ignore negative characteristics, as the Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, said, "A believing man should not have any malice against a believing woman. He may dislike one characteristic in her, but may find another in her which is pleasing." (Muslim)
Be Your Mate's Best Friend
Try to think of what a best friend means and be one to your spouse. This may mean sharing interests, experiences, dreams, failures and upsets. It may involve understanding a spouse's likes and dislikes and attempting to please him or her in any way possible. A best friend is also usually someone that can be confided to trusted, and relied upon. A spouse should be the kind of friend that one would want to keep throughout life.
Spend Quality Time Together
It is not enough to share meals, chores and small talk together. Spouses should also find time to focus on strengthening the relationship. Often couples get busy with their own separate tasks and forget about working on one of the most important elements in life. Quality time may be anything from having a quiet, profound conversation to going for a nice long nature walk, to sharing a special hobby or project. Both spouses should enjoy the particular option chosen and distractions should be kept to a minimum.
Express Feelings Often
This is probably a very "Western" concept and one that some people may have difficulty fulfilling, but it is important to be open and honest about one's feelings, both positive and negative. The lines of communication should always be open and any concerns should be brought to the attention of the other spouse as soon as they arise. The rationale of this is that what begins as a simple concern may grow into a major problem if it is not addressed quickly and properly. The "silent treatment" has never been the remedy for anything.
Admit to Mistakes and ask for Forgiveness
Just as we ask Allah to forgive us when we make mistakes, we should also do the same with our spouses. The stronger person is the one who can admit when he or she is wrong, request pardon from the other, and work hard to improve his/her aspects that are in need of change. When a person is unwilling to do this, there will be little growth and development in the marriage.
Never Bring up Mistakes of the Past
It can be very hurting for another person to be reminded of past mistakes. In Islam, it is generally not recommended to dwell on the past. One may remember errors that were made so that they are not repeated, but this should not be done excessively. Certainly, as humans, we are not in the position to judge another person. Advice may be given, but not in a harmful manner.
Surprise Each Other at Times
This may entail bringing home a small gift or flowers, preparing a special meal, dressing up and beautifying oneself (this is not only for women), or sending a secret note in a lunchbox. A little imagination will go a long way here. The idea is to spice up the marriage and avoid getting into a dull routine that may negatively affect the marriage.
Have a Sense of Humour
This particular aspect can go a long way in preventing arguments and brightening the atmosphere of the home. Life is a constant stream of challenges and tests, and to approach it in a light-hearted manner will help to make the journey smoother and more enjoyable. You may also find that your spouse enjoys this characteristic and looks forward to spending time with you because of it.
Quick Tips for Discussions and Disagreements:
Begin with the intention to resolve the issue. If both spouses have this intention and plan to consult together, it is more likely that there will be a successful resolution.
Remember that it takes two to quarrel. If only one person chooses not to argue, there will be no argument. Generally, the one who is wrong does most of the talking.
Both spouses should not be angry at the same time. If one of the spouses becomes upset, it is best if the other tries to remain calm and collected.
Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire. Of course, house fires do not occur very frequently; yelling should occur at about the same rate.
Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled. This is one of the worst things that can happen in a marriage and should be avoided as much as possible. This allows hurt feelings and thoughts to linger and generally exacerbates the problem.
If one spouse needs to win, let it be your mate. Do not focus on winning yourself; this is the main reason that discussions tend to become heated.
Dr. Aisha Hamdan
[Source: Madrasa In'aamiyyah]
My AccountSign InForgot PasswordRegisterMarriage Articles
Tips on Selecting a Marriage Partner
Marriage: Purpose and Obligation
Tips for a Happy and Successful Marriage
To the Prospective Muslim Husband: What is a Wife?
An-Nikah: The Islamic Marriage
Do Muslim Husbands Make the Grade?
Encouragement of Marriage and Having Children
How To Be A Successful Husband
Find Your PartnerNew ContactsAdvanced SearchQuick SearchMembers OnlineWho has seen my profile?Auto MatchmakerSearch TipsSuccess StoriesSearch by ID:
Paid ServicesPremium MembershipPersonal AlbumSMS MessagesMore...Help & SupportQuick LinksHelp / FAQsReport AbuseTechnical SupportLearn MoreWhy MehndiAffiliate ProgramAdvertisePrivacy PolicyTerms & ConditionsContact
Join | Advertise | Affiliate Program | Contact | Privacy Policy | Terms & Conditions | Success Stories
Pakistani Matrimonial | Pakistani Dating | Pakistani Marriage | Pakistani Singles | Pakistani Wedding | Muslim MatrimonialAll trademarks, logos and names are properties of their respective owners.
Copyright © 2010 Mehndi.com Your Pakistani and Indian Matrimonial service
Mehndi.com is a Cronomagic company. All Rights Reserved.
The young and excited bride-and-groom-to-be; ecstatic about the upcoming wedding and marriage and the joy that it will bring. Three to six months later, reality has set in and both spouses realize that marriage is no easy task, but one that takes a great deal of effort and patience. The following are tips for both wives and husbands, to help make the task a little less daunting, and to increase the many rewards that are possible in such a marvelous and complex relationship.
Enter the Marriage with the Right Intention and Renew this Often
Both spouses should enter the marriage with the pure intention of pleasing Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, in order to receive His grace and blessings. The marriage itself then becomes an act of worship and one for which both spouses will be rewarded.
Allah will be pleased with them and this will be the most critical element in ensuring peace, stability and happiness throughout the marital life. It is also important to realize that when an act of worship is continued over a long period of time, it becomes necessary to renew one's intention often to remain on the correct path and to obtain the most benefit.
Remember that Your Spouse is also Your Brother or Sister in Islam
Too often Muslims treat other people outside the home with kindness and sincerity, but then behave in a very different manner when it comes to their own spouses. Muslims should always remember that one's spouse is also another brother or sister in Islam and that the rights and duties that apply to the general brotherhood (sisterhood) of Islam, should also form the basis of the marital relationship. Obviously, a spouse has rights beyond these, but there should be a clear understanding of the rights of brotherhood (sisterhood) and adherence to these principles.
Do Not Hold Unrealistic Expectations
Before marriage, people often have unrealistic ideas about their spouse-to-be, expecting perfection in all aspects. This rarely, if ever, plays out in reality and can lead to unnecessary problems and concerns. We should recall that Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, created humans as imperfect beings, which means that many mistakes will be made throughout a lifetime. By turning the table and expecting imperfection, we will be pleasantly surprised and pleased when our spouse is much more than we ever hoped for. This, in turn, will lead to contentment within the marriage.
Emphasize the Best in Your Spouse
Since no one is endowed with all of the best qualities, emphasis should be placed on the positive qualities that a spouse possesses. Encouragement, praise, and gratitude should be expressed on a regular basis, which will strengthen these qualities and be beneficial in developing others. An attempt should be made to overlook or ignore negative characteristics, as the Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, said, "A believing man should not have any malice against a believing woman. He may dislike one characteristic in her, but may find another in her which is pleasing." (Muslim)
Be Your Mate's Best Friend
Try to think of what a best friend means and be one to your spouse. This may mean sharing interests, experiences, dreams, failures and upsets. It may involve understanding a spouse's likes and dislikes and attempting to please him or her in any way possible. A best friend is also usually someone that can be confided to trusted, and relied upon. A spouse should be the kind of friend that one would want to keep throughout life.
Spend Quality Time Together
It is not enough to share meals, chores and small talk together. Spouses should also find time to focus on strengthening the relationship. Often couples get busy with their own separate tasks and forget about working on one of the most important elements in life. Quality time may be anything from having a quiet, profound conversation to going for a nice long nature walk, to sharing a special hobby or project. Both spouses should enjoy the particular option chosen and distractions should be kept to a minimum.
Express Feelings Often
This is probably a very "Western" concept and one that some people may have difficulty fulfilling, but it is important to be open and honest about one's feelings, both positive and negative. The lines of communication should always be open and any concerns should be brought to the attention of the other spouse as soon as they arise. The rationale of this is that what begins as a simple concern may grow into a major problem if it is not addressed quickly and properly. The "silent treatment" has never been the remedy for anything.
Admit to Mistakes and ask for Forgiveness
Just as we ask Allah to forgive us when we make mistakes, we should also do the same with our spouses. The stronger person is the one who can admit when he or she is wrong, request pardon from the other, and work hard to improve his/her aspects that are in need of change. When a person is unwilling to do this, there will be little growth and development in the marriage.
Never Bring up Mistakes of the Past
It can be very hurting for another person to be reminded of past mistakes. In Islam, it is generally not recommended to dwell on the past. One may remember errors that were made so that they are not repeated, but this should not be done excessively. Certainly, as humans, we are not in the position to judge another person. Advice may be given, but not in a harmful manner.
Surprise Each Other at Times
This may entail bringing home a small gift or flowers, preparing a special meal, dressing up and beautifying oneself (this is not only for women), or sending a secret note in a lunchbox. A little imagination will go a long way here. The idea is to spice up the marriage and avoid getting into a dull routine that may negatively affect the marriage.
Have a Sense of Humour
This particular aspect can go a long way in preventing arguments and brightening the atmosphere of the home. Life is a constant stream of challenges and tests, and to approach it in a light-hearted manner will help to make the journey smoother and more enjoyable. You may also find that your spouse enjoys this characteristic and looks forward to spending time with you because of it.
Quick Tips for Discussions and Disagreements:
Begin with the intention to resolve the issue. If both spouses have this intention and plan to consult together, it is more likely that there will be a successful resolution.
Remember that it takes two to quarrel. If only one person chooses not to argue, there will be no argument. Generally, the one who is wrong does most of the talking.
Both spouses should not be angry at the same time. If one of the spouses becomes upset, it is best if the other tries to remain calm and collected.
Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire. Of course, house fires do not occur very frequently; yelling should occur at about the same rate.
Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled. This is one of the worst things that can happen in a marriage and should be avoided as much as possible. This allows hurt feelings and thoughts to linger and generally exacerbates the problem.
If one spouse needs to win, let it be your mate. Do not focus on winning yourself; this is the main reason that discussions tend to become heated.
Dr. Aisha Hamdan
[Source: Madrasa In'aamiyyah]
My AccountSign InForgot PasswordRegisterMarriage Articles
Tips on Selecting a Marriage Partner
Marriage: Purpose and Obligation
Tips for a Happy and Successful Marriage
To the Prospective Muslim Husband: What is a Wife?
An-Nikah: The Islamic Marriage
Do Muslim Husbands Make the Grade?
Encouragement of Marriage and Having Children
How To Be A Successful Husband
Find Your PartnerNew ContactsAdvanced SearchQuick SearchMembers OnlineWho has seen my profile?Auto MatchmakerSearch TipsSuccess StoriesSearch by ID:
Paid ServicesPremium MembershipPersonal AlbumSMS MessagesMore...Help & SupportQuick LinksHelp / FAQsReport AbuseTechnical SupportLearn MoreWhy MehndiAffiliate ProgramAdvertisePrivacy PolicyTerms & ConditionsContact
Join | Advertise | Affiliate Program | Contact | Privacy Policy | Terms & Conditions | Success Stories
Pakistani Matrimonial | Pakistani Dating | Pakistani Marriage | Pakistani Singles | Pakistani Wedding | Muslim MatrimonialAll trademarks, logos and names are properties of their respective owners.
Copyright © 2010 Mehndi.com Your Pakistani and Indian Matrimonial service
Mehndi.com is a Cronomagic company. All Rights Reserved.
Marriage: Purpose and Obligation
Marriage: Purpose and Obligation
Definition of Marriage
Nikah is an Arabic term used for marriage. It means "contract". ("Aqd in Arabic). The Quran specifically refers to marriage as "mithaqun Ghalithun,". Which means "a strong covenant".
"and they have taken a strong pledge (Mithaqun Ghalithun) from you?" (Quran 4:21)
The seriousness of this covenant becomes obvious when one finds the same term i.e., Mithaqun Ghalithun, being used for the covenant made between Allah and the Prophet before granting them the responsibility of the Prophethood. (Quran 33:7)
The Quran also uses the Arabic word "Hisn", suggesting "fortress" for marriage. Marriage is considered the fortress of chastity.
The Purpose of Marriage
As a meaningful institution, marriage has two main purposes:
To ensure preservation of the human species and continuation of the human race,
"O mankind! Be careful of your duty to your Lord, Who created you from a single soul and from it created its mate and from them has spread abroad a multitude of men and women" (Quran: 4:1)
To provide spiritual and legal foundation of the family
"And of His signs is this: He created for you mates from yourself that you might find rest in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy. Lo, therein indeed are portents for folk who reflect". (Quran 30:21)
Through Marriage, the conjugal relationship between a man and a woman becomes lawful. It provides a legitimate outlet for recreation as well as procreation. Islam regards sex as natural and good, but restricts it to the partners of marriage so as to ensure the responsibility for its consequences.
"Your women are a tilth for you so go to your tilth as you will, and send (good deeds) before you for your souls, and fear Allah, and know that you will (one day) meet him. Give glad tidings to believers, (O Muhammad)." (Quran 2:223)
Marriage provides spiritual, physical, emotional and psychological companionship. This companionship generates and sustains love, kindness, compassion, mutual confidence, solace and succor (sakinah). It lays a spiritual and legal foundation for raising a family. The children born of the matrimonial union become legitimate and mutual rights of inheritance are established.
Marriage: A Religious Requirement
Marriage in Islam is a recommended as a religious requirement.
"Marry those among you who are single and (marry) your slaves, male and female, that are righteous" (Quran 24:32)
Prophet Muhammad (S) declared:
"When the servant of Allah marries, he has fulfilled half the (responsibilities laid on him by the) faith; so let him be God conscious with respect to the other half". (Mishkat)
Marriage has also been commended as the way of the prophets.
"We indeed sent messengers before you (O Muhammad), and We assigned them wives and children" (Quran 13:38)
Marriage, in fact, is specifically considered the tradition (sunnah) of Prophet Muhammad (S) when he declared:
"Marriage is my Sunnah, whoever disregards my (sunnah) path is not from among us". (ibn Majah)
Islam discourages celibacy and encourages marriage, as Prophet Muhammad (S) recommended:
"Whoever is able to marry, should marry". (Bukhari)
Mohammad Mazhar Hussaini
Definition of Marriage
Nikah is an Arabic term used for marriage. It means "contract". ("Aqd in Arabic). The Quran specifically refers to marriage as "mithaqun Ghalithun,". Which means "a strong covenant".
"and they have taken a strong pledge (Mithaqun Ghalithun) from you?" (Quran 4:21)
The seriousness of this covenant becomes obvious when one finds the same term i.e., Mithaqun Ghalithun, being used for the covenant made between Allah and the Prophet before granting them the responsibility of the Prophethood. (Quran 33:7)
The Quran also uses the Arabic word "Hisn", suggesting "fortress" for marriage. Marriage is considered the fortress of chastity.
The Purpose of Marriage
As a meaningful institution, marriage has two main purposes:
To ensure preservation of the human species and continuation of the human race,
"O mankind! Be careful of your duty to your Lord, Who created you from a single soul and from it created its mate and from them has spread abroad a multitude of men and women" (Quran: 4:1)
To provide spiritual and legal foundation of the family
"And of His signs is this: He created for you mates from yourself that you might find rest in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy. Lo, therein indeed are portents for folk who reflect". (Quran 30:21)
Through Marriage, the conjugal relationship between a man and a woman becomes lawful. It provides a legitimate outlet for recreation as well as procreation. Islam regards sex as natural and good, but restricts it to the partners of marriage so as to ensure the responsibility for its consequences.
"Your women are a tilth for you so go to your tilth as you will, and send (good deeds) before you for your souls, and fear Allah, and know that you will (one day) meet him. Give glad tidings to believers, (O Muhammad)." (Quran 2:223)
Marriage provides spiritual, physical, emotional and psychological companionship. This companionship generates and sustains love, kindness, compassion, mutual confidence, solace and succor (sakinah). It lays a spiritual and legal foundation for raising a family. The children born of the matrimonial union become legitimate and mutual rights of inheritance are established.
Marriage: A Religious Requirement
Marriage in Islam is a recommended as a religious requirement.
"Marry those among you who are single and (marry) your slaves, male and female, that are righteous" (Quran 24:32)
Prophet Muhammad (S) declared:
"When the servant of Allah marries, he has fulfilled half the (responsibilities laid on him by the) faith; so let him be God conscious with respect to the other half". (Mishkat)
Marriage has also been commended as the way of the prophets.
"We indeed sent messengers before you (O Muhammad), and We assigned them wives and children" (Quran 13:38)
Marriage, in fact, is specifically considered the tradition (sunnah) of Prophet Muhammad (S) when he declared:
"Marriage is my Sunnah, whoever disregards my (sunnah) path is not from among us". (ibn Majah)
Islam discourages celibacy and encourages marriage, as Prophet Muhammad (S) recommended:
"Whoever is able to marry, should marry". (Bukhari)
Mohammad Mazhar Hussaini
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